My sad little garden

I just dug these potatoes from my garden, and I honestly don't think I could be more thrilled with them if they were diamonds and rubies!
Okay, so maybe gemstones in my backyard would make me a little more excited, but I have to tell you that I'm pretty darn tickled with a few veggies. With the exception of seven additional green beans, enough rhubarb to make one cobbler and one strawberry the size of a marble, this is the only thing edible my garden has produced so far this year. Pitiful, isn't it? I may yet have a few more potatoes and beans, the verdict's still out on the onions and there's probably enough rhubarb for one more dessert but I'm not holding my breath for anything else. Here's a little status report for what I planted initially:

Tomatoes: Started with two plants. One was ripped out of the container by my stupid tomato-loving dog (it had a tiny tomato on it). Managed to find a replacement (no easy task in mid-July). Has a few blossoms but will it ever make fruit before it gets too cold? I highly doubt it--it has a 60 day growing period. The second plant was doing just fine until it inexplicably took a turn for the worse last week and now it appears to be dead, despite my watering & Miracle Gro feedings. No BLT sandwiches for me this year.

Green beans: Started with four plants. One died during the tornado/hailstorm back in early June. The other three lived and produced beans. While harvesting said beans last week, Maren pulled one entire plant out of the ground (it was scrawny). Tried to replant it, but it died. Now down to two plants and while they're making beans, they're little weakling plants.

Potatoes: Started with six hills. All appear to have grown, it's a garden miracle! The photo above shows the first potatoes I've dug, which comprised everything from three of the plants. I had better enjoy them because I doubt there will be many more at that rate.

Rhubarb: Took a beating (literally) during the tornado/hailstorm. Was able to salvage enough to make a rhubarb crisp and cut off all the other damaged bracts. Surprisingly, it came back and it looks like there's enough to make one more rhubarb crisp this weekend.

Strawberries: Started out with six plants. Found one tiny, misshapen berry last week and let Maren eat it--she reports it was good. There were a few other berries at the beginning of the season but the damn birds got to them before Maren could (I quit filling the bird feeder in revenge). Plants are sending out runners like crazy so at least maybe they'll reproduce. If I'd thought they were going to be so robust about reproducing, I would have planted them in a different spot with more space.

Onions: Had the misfortune of being planted less than 24 hours before the tornado/hailstorm. Poor little dears were flattened but about half managed to survive. Still looking very scrawny; I haven't been brave enough to check any for bulbs yet. If they do have bulbs, they'll end up looking more like scallions than the nice round globes I was hoping for.

Pumpkin: Currently doing what pumpkins do best, which is making a bid for total botanic domination of that end of the garden. In its haste to cover the most territory possible it seems to have forgotten the whole idea of making fruit. There are currently two golf-ball sized gourds on the plant and seeing as how it's mid-August, I have a sneaking suspicion we won't be carving those as our Jack-o'lanterns this October.

Basil: Started with something nutso like 20 plants. Figured that since everyone always says that basil grows like crazy that I'd be bushwhacking my way through forests of basil and putting up fresh pesto by the gallon by now. Ha! My plants are indeed growing but struggling mightily. Out of the 15 or so remaining plants I think I'd be lucky to get one, possibly two batches of pesto at this point. Can't figure out what the problem is and why herbs seem to hate me.

Hollyhocks: More came up this year than last year but they appear to be of a pygmy variety. I dreamed of the 6-foot-tall 'hocks I see around all the houses in my grandparents' small town, but instead I got the miniature version. I swear they were taller last summer, are they just shy this year?

Sunflowers: The ones Maren planted accidentally in the front of the garden are taller than me and should bloom anytime. The ones I planted deliberately in a nice little row against the fence are suffering the same pygmy disorder as the hollyhocks. Especially strange since they all came from the same packet of seeds and were planted within days of each other.

Growing heartily: Various weeds, crab grass, aspen suckers, thistles, the ugly hedges in front of the house

Here's the thing: my garden's failure is not for lack of trying on my part. If wishing and hoping would actually make the plants grow, I'd be opening up a booth at the farmer's market by now! Last summer's garden experiment was my first but was largely unsuccessful due to a cold, wet June and subsequent late planting times. I wanted so badly for everything to grow this year; all Spring I planned what I would plant and talked about it to anyone who would listen. But then Nature took over and apparently decided that I was getting a bit too excited and put me in my place. From the tornado and golf ball-sized hail to yet another (atypical) cold wet June, to the tomato-thieving dog and whatever other maladies have made my plants die or otherwise ail, I just can't win!

I've resigned myself to the fact that Nature just does not want me to have a garden this year, and it's out of my control. I honestly don't know why anyone would want to be a farmer in this day and age--their livelihood is dependent on the whims of the weather, which for the past two summers now has been extremely temperamental. I'm just thankful I don't have to rely on the produce from my garden to feed my family for the winter. I'll probably be foolish and try it all again next year, but I'm afraid two summers of failure will probably put a damper on my enthusiasm.

So for all the rest of you who have fresh tomatoes up to your eyeballs and zucchini the size of baseball bats, please eat a BLT for me and don't take them for granted. And you had better believe I'll enjoy every bite of those potatoes with my dinner tonight!