Helloooooo! Good heavens, I don't think I've ever gone so long without blogging in the
seven years I've been doing this!
I'm happy to report that I believe I have the insomnia thing licked! I don't want to say it too loud and jinx myself, but I've been able to sleep throught the night since last Saturday without any problems falling or staying asleep.
Last week was a bit hairy--Tuesday I went in for my first acupuncture appointment. I am pretty scared of needles and once passed out in a college class where we were watching a movie about acupuncture--but at that point, I was pretty desperate for
anything that would help with the insomnia. That night, Tuesday night, was to be my first night without Ambien in several weeks. I had been so
afraid of trying to go without it that I had put it off and put it off.
On the previous day, I happened to be reading one of my
favorite blogs and Melissa, the author, posted this scripture:
For God hath not
given us
the spirit of fear,
but of
power
and of
love
and of a
sound mind.
-2 Timothy 1:17
And it went straight to my heart, because she doesn't know me, but somehow she posted it just for ME. I had been so, so afraid of trying to go to sleep without drugs, and had actually used those same words in speaking with my massage therapist that very afternoon. Tuesday night was hard--I didn't sleep for the entire night. The whole thing. But even though I felt physically horrible, mentally I was okay, because I kept reciting this scripture over and over. It brought me such comfort and strength and truly kept me from freaking out over not sleeping. It was so powerful! I truly did have a sound mind.
On Wednesday, I held it together pretty well with the help of a friend here who took Porter for a few hours so I could get a massage and another friend who brought me dinner. I posted on Facebook that morning after not sleeping and so many of my kind friends and loved ones expressed their sympathy and sent their prayers. Wednesday night I actually slept through the night without drugs for the first time in 4 weeks. I'm sure that sheer exhaustion had something to do with that, but it was wonderful!
Thursday night, I had a hard time falling asleep but thanks to my new favorite scripture, I wasn't afraid! I finally fell asleep around 3:00 am and got about 3 hours of sleep. Friday night was about the same.
Saturday night was the best! I actually slept THE WHOLE NIGHT and had NO trouble at all falling asleep! It actually took me completely by surprise--I woke up at 4:30 am to take care of Porter and couldn't believe it was already so late, and then was able to fall asleep again for 3 more hours. It was wonderful and just knowing that I could fall asleep on my own (without even trying) and sleep all night was such a relief!
I've slept every single night since then. I had a little harder time falling asleep on Sunday night and did lay awake for about an hour, but it wasn't bad at all. I've been sleeping in the guest room but I think I'm ready to move back into my own bed. I know that I could have a bad night again but I truly feel like I have the tools to deal with it now without panicking.
I can see now that I've been blessed through this whole thing. I know that so many of you have expressed your good thoughts and prayers for me and I have felt every single one! Knowing that so many people would take time to do that for me has been humbling and very comforting and I appreciate it so very much! You are the
best!
And now, I'm SO ready to get on with my life! I finally downloaded my photos after weeks of letting them sit on my camera. I finally have some energy to do fun things again and hope to be able to start posting regularly again, because I've missed you all! Thank you again for your kindness and support during this hard time for me!